Unexpected
by Winds of Autumn
Summary: Buffy realizes her feelings for Spike are a bit fluffy and confessed. Just in time, too, for it seems there's something in the works to keep them together.
1. Chapter 1

Patrolling had turned into a pain in the ass lately, and it was dragging Buffy down. She hated it, the ever present feeling of impending failure, the constant fatigue. Yet she endured, mostly because Dawn still required the constant protection. If it had been just her, with Giles' reaction to worry about, she would have turned the duty over to Faith long ago, after being brought back to life the second time. Now, nearly six months later, she had seperated herself from everything that made her feel to make them happy. Though she hadn't carried mushy feelings for Spike, she had cared about him somewhere deep in her tattered, broken heart. He'd given her back the gift of feeling when she'd thought she was going insane. It had been so long since she had felt anything other than resentment and pain, and Spike made her feel passion. It wasn't much, but it was something. Being brought back to this hell had jerked her straight from pure happiness, something she'd thought she would never attain, though she was loathe to admit that part of her hated her friends for what they had done.

Dawn had been safe; Spike had promised not to let anything happen to her. Buffy trusted him. He'd done some bad things, but he didn't have it in him to hurt her. He had tried, and she would never know if he would have succeeded or not, but he hadn't. That was the point. "We don't trust him," they all whined, ignoring the fact that Buffy's judgement had kept them alive in the past.

Sighing, Buffy ducked, a newly risen vampire sailing over her and hitting the dirt with a growl of protest. The Slayer straightened up, dusting her hands off on her pants legs before she lunged, punching the ugly back and turning, her leg lifting in a graceful arc to smash into the side of his face before touching the ground, leaving her standing over the vamp. Taking the stake out of her pocket without a word, she knelt and dusted him amidst his protesting cries.

"Nicely done, Slayer."

Buffy stood, knowing that voice. It sent shivers down her arms, made her close her eyes in an attempt to unravel all the hidden things in his words, in his sheer meaning. "Spike," she replied to the surrounding darkness, slipping the stake back into her jacket pocket. Turning, she crossed her arms and watched, knowing he would show his face. He always did. Maybe it was to tourment her, or maybe to tourment herself. Ever since he had returned from wherever the hell he had gone to pick up that soul, he'd been different. And it irked her. He'd been so predictable before, and now he was far from it.

"Headed home, luv?" he asked, shifting from behind the large tombstone to lean against the side of it. Buffy sighed, starting to walk past him. "Was jus' a question," he said, knowing she could hear him. "How's Dawn?"

It threw her. Buffy stopped, knowing the two had some kind of connection that no one would ever understand or change. "She's doing well. If only I could get her to do her homework," she added mostly to herself. Spike heard, and chuckled.

"I'll talk to her if ya like, luv," he offered, shifting to walk beside her as she picked up her stride, eager to be away from him. He always had the same effect on her, and she didn't know how to handle it.

"Don't worry about it," she mumbled, pulling her jacket closer around her as she felt sick. She stopped, wheeling around and loosing her meager dinner all over the graveyard dirt, shrugging Spike's hand off as he asked if she was all right. She nodded mutely, trembling as she wiped her lips off. "Damn it." That was the fourth time tonight. It had been getting worse for a week. She'd feel fine, then she'd be bend over spewing the contents of her stomach all over the place, and she'd be shaky for a bit then back to normal.

"You sure?" Spike asked, concern darkening his blue eyes in the moonlight. Buffy caught herself staring and looked away, swallowing the urge to choke over the after taste.

"I'm getting used to it," she said, brushing his concern off. "I'm going home now," she added firmly, unwilling to be convinced into staying. He understood too much for his own good, and he'd come to terms, it seemed, with the fact that they would never be anything more than bed mates every once in a while.

Spike chuckled, reaching out and taking her upper arm in a soft grip. He pulled her back, bringing his other hand up to wipe her chin off. "Can't send ya home looking like a wreck. Come on, there's some strong liquor in the crypt, and ya look like ya need it, luv," he said gently, letting his hand drop from her arm. It disarmed her, and she nodded slowly, the desperate, honest look in his eyes making her melt. It was utter stupidity, but she turned and walked beside him to the crypt. Neither spoke, Spike holding the door open for her before closing it behind himself. He shrugged out of his duster, hanging it on a peg beside the door.

Buffy's eyes traveled the room, taking in the changes. Spike moved around behind her, but she didn't turn. No matter what anyone else said, no matter the evidence that his past supplied, she trusted him. It was instinctual, something that had started with his tenderness with Dawnie. Shrugging out of her jacket, Buffy draped it over the back of the couch as Spike held out a small tumbler of what she supposed was Jack Daniels, from the bottle in his grip.

"There ya go, luv," he said with a grin, lifting his bottle in respect. "Cheers." Putting the bottle to his lips, he took a deep drink. Buffy watched his lips, watched the muscles in his throat flex as he swallowed the strong liquid. She lifted hers, her eyes still on him, and tilted the liquid into her mouth and got it down in one swallow. She gagged, coughing as the alcohol slid down her throat. Spike laughed, merriment in his blue eyes. "All righ' luv?" he asked, taking the tumbler from her delicate hand and putting it down on the table behind him.

Buffy nodded, grimacing at the taste. "Yeah, I'm good," she whispered, almost retching again from the taste of the alcohol. Spike chuckled, shaking his head and lighting a cigarette as he leaned back.

Spike watched her from behind the grey-blue smoke that lifted in whispy shapes from the tip of his cigarette, his eyes slightly hard. "You don' have to leave, Slayer," he said softly, a slight growl in his voice. Buffy's eyes shot to his, disbelief in her eyes. He'd seen it, picked up on the faint stirrings of arousal that she was getting from being around him. Damn it, she'd never been good at hiding her emotions from him. She swallowed, then looked away.

"I know I don't have to, Spike. But I need to."

Spike closed his eyes, tossing the cigarette to the ground as he leaned forward, taking Buffy's delicate, supernaturally muscled upper arms in his grip as he pulled her forward, his mouth settling gently on hers. He had a feeling that she needed this-- not the wild, crazy sex that she usually came to him for. She was hurting, confused, somewhere deep in that complicated Slayer brain of hers, and she needed comfort. He pulled back, lifting a hand to her face. She was so warm that it burned his cold skin. It was a pleasant feeling to him, though. Touching her cheek, he slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her forward into his chest, content to quietly hold her until she needed something more.

Buffy let herself lean into him, not feeling like fighting the morbid, strange emotions inside of her. If she forced herself to look at them, perhaps she would see what she needed to. Perhaps she would see that Dawn knew what she was talking about. But she couldn't. Wouldn't. To do so would only open her up to a world of hurt again. Bile rose up again, and she jerked away from him, searching wildly for his trash bin. Finding it, she knelt, shuddering as she threw up once more. There was no form to it, and it worried her. Wiping her mouth off of her wrist, she sat on her knees for a moment, knowing Spike was watching her.

"I can't be what you want me to be, Spike," she said softly. "I can't be dependent, I can't stay with you all the time. Hell, I can't even stand up to my friends for you." She let out a mocking laugh at herself, not seeing Spike's wide-eyed look. He didn't interrupt, though, in too much shock to do that. "I don't know if I love you, but damn it, your arms..." Buffy swallowed, forcing the words out, not giving herself time to rationalize as they flowed free. She needed to get this out. "You make me feel safe, treasured. Beautiful." She turned, still not looking at him. "I want to make you feel that way..."

Spike's jaw worked, though no words came out. A second heartbeat came from her body, one he had just noticed. It wasn't strong, just a faint beating that he had picked up on with her body against his, just before she'd ran to the rubbish bin again. "Buffy? Do you-- Are you--" he growled, shoving a hand through his hair. "You're bloody pregnant, woman!" he roared.

Buffy's head snapped up, her green eyes widening in complete horror. "No," she whispered. "It can't be... I'm the Slayer..." She didn't add that the only person she'd had sex with since being revived was him. He was suddenly in front of her, taking her by the shoulders and shaking her lightly.

"Who, Buffy?" he roared, jealousy making his eyes burn. Buffy looked up at him and shook her head.

"Only you," she whispered, still in a state of complete shock. She shook her head again, blond locks falling into her face as she lowered her head. "It can't be... Can it?" she asked, almost desperately, looking up at him pleadingly.

Spike shook his head. "I dunno' luv. I aint never hear' o' it before," he said raggedly, drawing her into his arms suddenly. "We'll figure it out, luv," he added softly, stroking her hair. "We'll get through this."


	2. Chapter 2

_Unexpected_

_Understanding_

_Winds Of Autumn_

Buffy leaned into his chest, shuddering lightly. She couldn't believe it, couldn't wrap her head around it. Pregnant. She was the Slayer, and she was pregnant with a Vampire's child. It was a joke, a sick joke that some demon was playing. It had to be. She shook her head, burrying it in Spike's neck. For once, she was happy to let him be taking care of her. She was too confused right now, too off. She wasn't herself, and she supposed she knew why now. Hormones. Crazy, Slayer-Vampire halfbreed hormones.

Spike sighed, feeling her shudder, tangling his hand in her soft hair and holding her face to his neck. He would protect her, of course. It was all he knew how to do-- that and deal with the pain she dealt the heart that loved her. He must be sadistic, for he'd decided a while back that if the pain she left in her wake was all the attention she would ever bestow upon him, then he would take it. Even if it broke him, he would take it, because Buffy would always know that he loved her, even if she refused to admit it. _"You make me feel safe, treasured. Beautiful. I want to make you feel that way..." _

He frowned. Had Buffy really said that? She had... But he'd been to lost in the realization that she was pregnant to carefully analyze the statement. Spike pulled back slightly, letting his hand slip from her silky hair as he caught her chin in his grip, lifting her face to look down at her. "Say it again," he whispered huskilly. Buffy frowned, then her eyes widened and she flushed, her eyes darting away from his face. "Uh uh, look at me," he added, his thumb moving softly over her cheek.

She swallowed, drawing his attention to the muscles in her throat contracting and moving at the simple motion. Her tongue darted out to wet her dry lips, then she looked at him again. There was such vulnerability hiding beneath the solid strength of the Slayer in her gaze that he felt his dead heart tear. He cupped her cheek, kissing her forehead. "I won't hurt ya, pet," he murmured.

Buffy nodded, looking up at him again. She took a deep breath, the expanding of her rib cage forcing her breasts against his chest. She bit her lip, then ignored it. "I care for you, Spike. I want to be what you want, but I don't know if its in me," she admitted.

The vampire chuckled softly, shaking his head at her. "I'm surprised at you, Slayer. Put yer mind to it, an' ya can do anythin' ya want to do," he said, complete faith of her in his voice. Buffy gave a grudging smile, starting to pull out of his arms.

"I need to go. Dawn will be worried," she said, dropping the excuse that was the most likely to be true. Dawn was sure to be waiting up in the kitchen, or slumped over her homework. Spike nodded, letting his arms drop from around her.

"Might be better for the both of us, pet, if ya didn't tell the Scoobies 'bout this," he added gruffly, lounging against the wall. Buffy wasn't fooled by his act. She nodded, then ducked her head and left. Spike stared after her, then shook his head. This wouldn't do, not at all. Something was up, and he was going to find out what.

Buffy made it home in record time, pausing once outside to throw up once more before slipping quietly inside the back door. As expected, Dawn was waiting. Only, not as awake as Buffy had pictured. She was slumped over her homework, a bit of drool making its journey from the corner of her mouth onto her homework. Buffy grinned, slamming the door closed. Dawn jumped with a scream, her eyes wild and she looked around and finally centered on Buffy.

"That was mean," she pouted, jumping off the stool and rushing around to embrace her sister. "I missed you. How was patrols tonight? There's leftover fish in the fridge," she rambled, pausing with a frown when Buffy paled at the mention of fish. "What? No fish?"

Buffy shook her head, holding her stomach. "No. No fish," she groaned. Sitting on the stool next to the one Dawn had vacated, she folded her arms on the counter and rested her forehead on her forearms.

"Buff? You all right? You look kinda sick. Maybe you should go up to bed?" Dawn suggested, worry and concern evident in her voice. Buffy just groaned again, then lifted her head.

"Sure, sure. I'll go right up, after I dig some food out," she muttered, finding her feet and moving to the fridge. She held back the bile at the smell of the fish, and grabbed a piece of left over steak in a dish. She carried it to the microwave, tossing it in for a few minutes. Closing her eyes, she inhaled the delicious scent. "You should get up to bed yourself, Dawnie. You've got school tomorrow." Dawn rolled her eyes, but gathered her books, kissed Buffy's cheek, and trudged upstairs. Buffy stared after her, then jumped as the ding announced the microwave was done. Pulling the steak out, she bit into it, ripping a chunk off and chewing greedily.

Lately she'd preferred her meat more raw than cooked, and she suddenly understood why. Pregnant. She let a hand rest on her stomach in awe, then shook herself. It was a lot to take in. A baby. She gave a bitter laught. It scared her more than any evil she'd ever had to take on in her life. A frekin' baby. She groaned. How would the others react? She didn't want to think about it. Instead, she finished her steak, then slipped quietly back out of the house. A pregnancy test would reaffirm what Spike had told her, though she didn't doubt his honesty with that particular news. He'd been in too much shock, so jealous and angry at the thought of her being with anyone else. She smirked. It had been quite comical.

Walking down the streets in the early morning hours would have been terrifying for a normal woman, but Buffy wasn't a normal woman. She had a stake in her pocket to deal with any newly risen or aged uglies, and had the strength to deal with anything else. With her hands shoved deep into her pockets and her head down in thought, Buffy made her way to the store. She didn't doubt Spike, not at all, she just had so see proof for herself. Maybe then she would tell the others about it. She cringed at the idea.

Xander hated Spike, and while Willow and Giles were neutral to him, they wouldn't be exactly thrilled either. Anya might be a big help, though. The woman had been alive for a good thousand years, and she'd done more things in her past than Spike ever had. If they could accept her because of Xander, why couldn't they accept Spike for her?

"Hello, Slayer..."

Buffy spun around, searching the darkness. "Whos there?" she demanded, her hand fisting around the worn wood of the stake in her pocket.

"Oh, think of me as a neutral party. Don't be afraid, child. I come to warn you." The figure that stepped out of the shadows was vaugely familiar, but Buffy couldn't discern who it was.

"Warn me? About what?"

It gestrued behind her, and she turned, ducking just in time to avoid a powerful blow aimed at the back of her head. She reacted, instinct taking over, the determination much stronger than it had ever been before. She had to protect her baby. When the demon was on the ground, it sneered at her.

"I'll have it, Slayer," it warned before disappearing. Buffy turned, glaring at the entity that had saved her. She was off. She hadn't sensed the demon behind her.

"Warn me about what?" she demanded, her fists clenched at her sides.

"They want your child. A powerful child it will be, carrying the Slayer lineage with the perks of Vampire blood, yet few of the weaknesses. They will keep coming, Slayer. Be warned. Be careful." It turned, disappearing back into the shadows from which it had come. Buffy stood still, then growled.

"Let them come," she vowed. "They will all die." As terrified as she was of having a child, she would protect it with her life.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This takes place between season six and seven, before the Hellmouth drama and Spike dying. I did include Kennedy, though, because she makes a perfect counterpart to Willow.

Buffy hurried to the store after her run-in with the nameless demons. A good demon? It was unheard of. What did he aim to gain by warning her of the evils of the world coming after her baby? Nothing that she could see. And yet, she could admit to herself that she wasn't thinking particularly straight. She was panicked. Between finding out she was mothering a half demon child and discovering that the demons wanted said child, she was nearly a wreck. Only the possibility that it could all be a mistake kept her going.

With the small box wrapped in the store plastic, shoved down deep in her pocket, Buffy stuck to the light streets on the way back. Less open antagonism where human eyes could see. Some demons respected the balance. Thoughts ran through her head-- what would the gang say? What would Giles think? And yet, worst of all, would they think her a whore for sharing her body with Spike?

No. She wouldn't let them. If they didn't like her decision, they didn't have to stay. She clung to the decision, determined that for once, she would stand up for what she and Spike shared. Screw them if they didn't understand. They all said they wanted her to be happy, then when she was, they said it wasn't good for her. Shaking her head, Buffy let herself into the house. Locking the door quietly behind her, she slipped upstairs to check on Dawn before making herself comfortable in the bathroom.

Opening the box, she read the instructions carefully, determined not to mess up. Muttering to herself, she followed the instructions to the 't' and set the stick on the counter, washing her hands as she waited. Two minutes. Plus sign meant she was pregnant. A negative was just that, a big falsie on the pregnant joke.

A minute into waiting, Buffy found herself holding her breath and wringing her hands, determined not to look at the window before it was time. The second minute felt like an eternity before the buzzer went off. She shut it off, lifting the stick with trembling hands.

A plus sign. A disgustingly pink, tiny addition sign that meant impending doom. It meant the destruction of friendships she'd been nurturing since her move to Sunnydale. A demon child.

Her knees buckled, and she sat staring at the little stick until morning. Had Dawn not pushed the door open thinking there was no one inside, Buffy wouldn't have moved. As it was, she jumped at the sound, trying to hide what she'd been looking at.

"Oh! Sorry Buffy, didn't know anyone was in here," Dawn apologized, rubbing a hand over her face. "You going to be long? I need to shower."

Buffy swallowed and mustered a smile. "Just give me a minute, and I'll be good." Dawn was still too asleep to notice any difference in the way Buffy was acting, for which she was extremely grateful. She shoved the stick into the box, then the box into her pocket as she slipped from the bathroom and hurried down the hall to her room. She closed the door just as Dawn emerged with her clothes for the day, shuffling to the bathroom with a yawn.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Buffy admitted to herself that she couldn't lie to herself anymore. Somehow, for whatever reason, Spike had gotten her pregnant. Maybe it was destiny. Maybe it was a spell. The only thing that mattered to her now was the protection of her family; her baby, Spike, and Dawn. All three of them were depending on her in some way, and she couldn't bring herself to fail them. They came first, before her duties as Slayer, before her friends.

Pushing herself up off the bed, Buffy changed into a fresh set of clothes and brushed her hair. She followed her normal routine, applying light makeup and fluffing her hair to the current fashion standards. She would have to tell them. The positive test would serve to convince them that it wasn't a sick joke, though she sincerely wished that it was. No, she didn't wish it that much anymore. Part of her hoped it was all some dream, but her heart thudded at the thought of a child.

Moving down the stairs with graceful, quiet ease, Buffy slipped into the kitchen. While she couldn't hardly cook to save her life, there were blessings in the world of food-- cereal and microwaveables. Pulling out the box of microwaveable breakfast sandwhiches, she made a few of them, knowing Dawn would be in a hurry when she finally found her way down the stairs to head off to school. She smiled slightly. Dawn was insecure and spent extra time trying to make herself presentable. Not that Buffy blamed the girl-- she was in high school, after all, where the pressures to be 'just so' were harsh. Buffy understood that pressure. After all, she was still letting that pressure regulate her life. But no more. Not after today.

"Morning," Willow greeted, slipping past Buffy in her robe to fill a mug full of coffee. She took a sip, frowning. "This isn't coffee."

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. Its tea." Willow raised her eyebrows, waiting for the woman to elaborate. When she didn't, the red head attempted to prompt her into explanation.

"And why is there tea in the coffee maker?" she asked slowly. Buffy smiled.

"I can't drink coffee anymore. At least not for a while." She turned, wiping the counter off with the wet rag. Willow stared at the back of her head.

"Oh? And why not?" Curiosity had always killed the cat, and Willow had always been an extremely curious person.

"I'm pregnant."

The cup crashed to the floor and the red head gaped. "You cheated on Spike? Oh, god, Buffy! I was so worried about you! But this is great!" She knelt to clean up the cup, still rambling when Kennedy and Dawn came in. "Did you hear? Buffy's pregnant!"

Dawn's eyes snapped to Buffy, a crushed look in her eyes. "You cheated on Spike! After he went and got a soul for you!" she yelled, grabbing her books off the table and heading for the door.

Buffy moved quickly, grabbing Dawn's arm and looking at her almost pleadingly. "I didn't cheat on Spike, Dawnie. Not that we were together to cheat on each other. We'll talk when you get home, ok?" She held Dawn's gaze for a moment before Dawn nodded reluctantly and slid out the door.

Buffy turned her gaze on Willow. "I want everyone in the living room as soon as possible. We need to have a talk." As Buffy turned and walked away, Willow looked at Kennedy, swallowing thickly.

"Uh oh."

AN: Sorry it took me so long to update. I hope that it will be more frequent from now on. Please review! It will help inspire the writer.


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